Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
→ A cow that can milk itself!

What South American dance do cows like to do?
→ The Rump-a

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
→ A lawn moo-er.

It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him.
The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up."

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
→ This is the end of me!

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
→ A petticoat!

What did the dead raccoon say in his will?
→ "Leave it to Beaver."

What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
→ A full bull!

What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
→ Cow chow!

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint, high pitched, "Come In". He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door.

He knocked again and heard again the high pitched "Come In". As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him. As he plastered himself against the wall he called out for help. Again, he heard the "Come In".

He slid down the wall to the living room to see a parrot in cage. He said, "For Pete's sake, is that all you can say is 'Come In'?!" The parrot laughed and said "Sic him!"