Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why did the bird join the air force?
→ He wanted to be a parrot trooper!

Why did the mouse eat a candle?
→ For some light refreshment!

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
→ You shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Why are elephants no good at Net surfing?
→ Because they're scared of the mouse.

- My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net.

- What an intelligent animal!

- Not really, it took the cat three weeks to teach him.

- First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot?

- Second Caribou: Micky Moth!

Why is a fish easy to weigh?
→ Because it has its own scales!

Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?
→ They have short tales!

What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
→ A dog that chases cars - and catches them!

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him:

- My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?

- Well - said the vet.

- let's have a look at him.

The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes.

- Well - says the vet.

- I'm going to have to put him down.

- Just because he's cross-eyed? - says the man.

- No, because he's heavy - says the vet.