Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why are pigs such great football fans?
→ They're always rooting.

Two guys were out hunting, but they weren't getting any ducks.

- What do you think the problem is? - one man asked his companion.

- I dunno - came the reply:

- Maybe we aren't throwing the dog up high enough.

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
→ A motor pike!

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?
→ I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party?
→ You're not owld enough.

Why did the chicken cross the "net"?
→ It wanted to get to the other site!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Bugs Barbie ...buck teeth, long ears

There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner. The punk had multicolored, spiked hair and multicolored feather earings.

After a while the punk got mad and said to the old man:

- What are you staring at?

- Back when I was in the army I got really drunk one night and fucked a parrot. I was wondering if you were my son.

What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
→ SWIMMING TRUNKS !!!