Random joke from this category
- Customer: Do you have any cockroaches?
- Clerk: Yes we sell them to the fisherman.
- Customer: I would like 20,000 of them.
- Clerk: What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?
- Customer: I'm moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it.
Two campers were hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives, when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes.
His partner says:
- What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!
His friend replies:
- I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
What are the most athletic rodents?
→ Track and field mice.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
→ A Moles Royce.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
→ A coat of arms!
What do you call an aardvark that's good at golf?
→ A paredvark!
What do you call an aardvark that's just won a fight?
→ A well 'aardvark!
Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for?
Well, that's probably how dogs spend most of their lives...
Mama bear to Papa bear:
- Well... You might call it hibernating -- I call it 'goofing off'.
