Most viewed jokes

Two cannibals were having lunch.

- Your girlfriend makes a great soup - said one to the other.

- Yes! - agreed the first. But, I'm going to miss her terribly.

Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
→ It finally dawned on her!

A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered.

- How much are your aardvarks? - he asked.

- They're L6 each - came the reply.

- Did you raise them yourself? - inquired the man.

- Oh yes - she said.

- Yesterday they were only L5 each.

What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion?
→ Anta-Seltzer!

- I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website.

- That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen.

Why is Chicago called the Windy City?
→ Because the Bears blow!

Young Boudreaux applied for an engineering job way, way up north in Shreveport. A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager went up to Boudreaux and said:

- Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the local man the job.

Boudreaux said:

- Why you gonna be doin dat sir, we both got 9 questions right?

The manager said:

- We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one you missed.

Boudreaux asked:

- An jus how da heck would one incorrect answer be mo betta dan da otter?

The manager replied:

- Simple, the local man put down on question #5, 'I don't know,' you put down, 'neither do I.'

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ 30 - 1 to make the batter and 29 to peel the smarties.

90% of Fords are still on the road. The other 10% made it home! (you know, Fords - Fix or Repair Daily)

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that:

- Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people.

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
And since: Knowledge = Power
And: Time = Money
It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money
Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.