Most viewed jokes

The story goes that Air Force One was over the UK a few years ago and called up a USAF base:

- Requesting Radar.

- What is you position? - asked ATC

- You got radar you find us - Air Force One replied.

After a few minutes ATC announced:

- Air Force One we're changing frequency

- What frequency are you changing to? - asked Air Force One

- You've got 720 channels - you find us! - ATC replied.

Why do computer teachers never get sick?
→ Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Why did the dish and spoon hide their computer?
→ The cat kept fiddling with i.t.

My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.

A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.

Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack.
Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said:

- And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.

Why can't girls play hockey?
→ Because they have to change their pads every period!

- Knock knock.

- Who's there?

- Owls.

- Owls who?

- That's right! Owls hoo!

How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.

She says:

- Father, I never wear panties under my habit.

The priest chuckles and says:

- That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do six cartwheels on your way to the altar.

ADDICTED INTERNET JUNKIE!!!!

1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy-----for a year!!!!!
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ......instead of ICU!
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the bathroom.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.
15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.
18. You say....... "Where did the time go??"
19. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.
20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
21. You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
22. You need to be pried from your computer by the jaws-of-life.
23. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL... ASAP".
24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and kisses.
25. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.
26. You're on the phone and say "BRB".
27. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood-shot eyes.
28. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.