Most viewed jokes

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?
→ Ask a woman her age.

A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor.
Another replied:

- Of course sleep is a factor. The only time I'm not eating is when I'm sleeping!

- Why didn't you make all the food on that long order?

- Because I'm a short order cook.

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.

The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said:

- You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today.

The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer:

- When do you have time to plough your land? At night?

- No - the young farmer replied seriously - Night is when I put the water in the hole.

Do robots have sisters?
→ No, just transistors!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Cyberpunk Barbie ...includes 'trodes and implants

A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.

A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and he was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed back his tears and said:

- I was being the ring bear.

What is black, blue, red, and brown?
→ A Brewnette that has told to many Blonde Joke.

What does a brewnette always miss at a great party?
→ The invitation.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
→ So that brewnettes can understand them.

What is a fine lookin' man with a brewnette?
→ A hostage.

One day, a blonde was left alone in a lab with a beetle. She examined it and decided to do an experiment. She pulled off one of its legs, then asked it to run. The beetle obeyed her command. Then, she pulled off a second leg and asked it to run. It did, but with a lot of difficulty. Finally, she pulled the remaining legs off and asked it to run. It couldn't.

- I have made a new discovery! - the blonde cried.

- When you pull all of a beetle's legs off, it becomes deaf!!