Most viewed jokes

Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust?
→ The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.

- Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street?

- Resident: No, it's 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse people.

- Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please?

- But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight!

- Yes, but the baby's bedroom is still on fire.

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?
→ Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

Why do mice have long tails ?
→ Well, they'd look silly with long hair !

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Tom wasn't happy about that:

- When are you going to learn to be polite?

- Bill: If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?

- Tom: The smaller piece, of course.

- Bill: What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?

What goes Clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop clip clop?
→ An Amish drive by shooting!

A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot her instead of her lover, he replied, "Ah, m'sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a different man every week?"

Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.