"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
You mama's so skinny ....she can hang glide with a dorito!
Yo Mama So Fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles.
Yo mama is so fat that when she went bunggie jumping in a yellow dress, everyone was screaming the suns falling!
Two men are talking. The first sez:
- I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.
- Amazing - said the second
- I just got divorced for the very same reasons.
TOP TEN things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:
Finally find that damned G-spot.
When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist.
Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said:
- Life isn't worth living. I think I'm gonna top myself.
- Don't be stupid, Joe - said the psychiatrist.
- My wife ran off and left me too, yet I'm happy.
- How? - asked Joe.
- Easy - replied the quack.
- I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?
- I clean out septic tanks. - Joe replied.
- Friend: Vern, are you going to take your wife Alice on your next cruise?
- Vern: Yes, indeed. I just can't leave her behind alone.
What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
→ The space bar.
What's the ultimate rejection?
→ When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
