Most viewed jokes

What do you get when you breed a Bulldog and a Shitzu together?
→ Bullshit

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

- Mother: What does the cow say?

- Child: Moo!

- Mother: Great! What does the cat say?

- Child: Meow.

- Mother: Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?

And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied:

- Bud.

Why do mice have long tails?
→ Well, they'd look silly with long hair!

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
→ Nothing, you told her twice.

Yo mamma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

The common symptoms of swine flu are: High fever, upset stomach, occasional cramps and an irresistible urge to fuck in the mud...

Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said:

- Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.

The other hooker looked at her and said:

- No, I just burped.

- Mommy, mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?

- Shut up and help me get grandma off the doorknob!

What's black and blue and hates sex?
→ A rape victim.

Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing

It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.

1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill.
4. The man places the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.