Guest
Foreplay in Alabama
What do you call foreplay in Alabama?
→ 'Hey sis, you awake?'
Most viewed jokes
- All
- Animal Jokes 3869
- April Fools Jokes 10
- At Work 856
- Aviation Jokes 339
- Bar Jokes 445
- Blonde Jokes 1226
- Business Jokes 842
- Camping Jokes 88
- Celebrities 657
- Christmas Jokes 343
- Clean Jokes 1299
- Comedian Jokes 85
- Computer Jokes 800
- Dirty Jokes 3278
- Doctor Jokes 989
- Drunks 538
- Dumb Jokes 1114
- Elderly Jokes 636
- Ethnic 982
- Farming Jokes 327
- Festival Jokes 300
- Food Jokes 1052
- Gender Jokes 298
- Golf Jokes 164
- Instrument Jokes 274
- Irish Jokes 242
- Kids Jokes 2024
- Language Jokes 1361
- Lawyer Jokes 565
- Marriage Jokes 1855
- Medicine 1113
- Men Jokes 959
- Military Jokes 384
- Mom/Dad Jokes 674
- Ouch 850
- Police Jokes 668
- Political Jokes 751
- Practical Jokes 33
- Red Indian Jokes 66
- Redneck Jokes 248
- Relationships 775
- Religion 1283
- School 906
- Science 461
- Sex Jokes 935
- Situations 1812
- Sport Jokes 602
- Stats/Math Jokes 214
- Travel Jokes 715
- War 134
- Women Jokes 1241
- Yo Mama Jokes 333
Where Y'all From
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from?" The New York girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
Great Polish Joke
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of my customers" "Okay" says the customer, "I'll tell it very slowly."
Guest
Operator 28
An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers:
- Operator, giff me beck the party!
She says:
- I'm sorry sir, you'll have to make the call all over again.
He says:
- What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.
She says:
- I'm sorry sir, you'll have to place the call again.
He says:
- Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere!
And he hangs up.
Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, strapping guys standing there who say:
- We came to take your telephone out.
He says:
- Vy?
They say:
- Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago. But if you'd like to call up and apologize, we'll leave the telephone here.
He says:
- Vait a minute, vat's da rush, vat's da hurry?
He goes to the telephone and dials:
- Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello, Operator 28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I told you to take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere?
She says:
- Yes?
He says:
- Vell, get ready -- dey're bringin' it to ya!
Guest
Cross-Eyed Monster
- Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver.
- Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.
Guest
Information Highway Blues
The Information Highway Blues
My baby's got my 486.
My cellular phone's on the blink.
My fax's gone off to fax heaven,
And Pay For View stinks.
I got the blues,
I got the Information Highway bluuuuues.
I got the bluuuuues,
I got the Information Highway blues.
I lost my account on the Internet.
My email's been revoked.
My modem's stuck at 300 baud,
And my terminal just blinks.
I got the blues,
I got the Information Highway bluuuuues.
I got the bluuuuues,
I got the Information Highway blues.
My head spins from Virtual Reality.
I don't have Video on demand.
I can't read my Personal Newspaper,
And Shop At Home has kinks.
I missed the on-ramp, to the Information Highway bluuuues.
I missed the onnnn-ramp, to the Information Highway blues.
Jack "Blues" Jung, Toronto, September 1994.
Guest
Locksmith Call
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith.
- I locked my keys in my sports car! - said the nervous lawyer.
- No problem, I should be there in about an hour - replied the locksmith.
- Do you think you can make it a little sooner? - pleaded the lawyer.
- My top is down and it's starting to rain.
Guest
Soap Opera Sex
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
→ Just when it's getting interesting they are finished until next time...
Guest
Clinton and the Titanic
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic??
→ It is known how many went down on the Titanic.
Guest
Cream And Sugar
A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee.
The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner.
The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty. As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee. The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full.
After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him:
- How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?
The man says:
- Two's fine.
She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup.
- And cream? - she asks.
The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says:
- You wouldn't dare!