Most viewed jokes

Did you know Sex is a crime?
→ Its a misdemeanor - The more I miss de meaner I get..

There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer.

Up walks a so called lady of the night. She says:

- For $300.00, I'll do anything you want.

Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says:

- Ok. Paint my house, bitch!

When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. To the guy's amazement, when the Pope came, he went over to the bum, and whispered something in his ear. Enraged, the guy went over to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off his back. Next day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum.

Sure enough, when the Pope came, he stopped in front of this guy, and whispered in his ear:

- I thought I told you to get the hell out of here!

"And the halftime score here at the Colleusium is Lions 7, Christians Nothing. We'll be right back after these messages..."

What do you call Toys R' Us in the hood?
→ We B Toyz N' Shit

Mr. Goldfarb was walking down the street. In each arm he carried a bag. He ran into Mr. Klein. Mr. Klein asked:

- What are those bags for?

- I'm collecting for Israel - said Mr. Goldfarb.

- You need two bags? - asked Mr. Klein.

- I've got a system - said Mr. Goldfarb.

- It's fantastic. I go into the men's room. I pull out a knife and hold it up. Then I say, 'Give for Israel or get a circumcision.' It works. I have forty thousand dollars in this bag.

- What do you have in the other bag? - inquired Mr. Klein.

- Oh, well, not everybody gives.

- You seem to be in some distress - said the kindly judge to the witness.

- Is anything the matter?

- Well, your Honour - said the witness - I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret." "I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one." "You'll let it out some day," the man insisted. "I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."

- Kiss me - said the young lady urgently.

- Please kiss me.

But the young man turned his head away, saying:

- Of course not. How can I? I'm your own brother-in-law. Hell, we shouldn't even be lying here making love.

What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame?
→ Virgin on the ridiculous.