Most viewed jokes

Two men were talking.

- So, how's your sex life?

- Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex.

- Social Security sex?

- Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!

There were two guys walking down the street and they saw a dog licking his nuts.

One of the guys said:

- Man I wish I could do that.

Then the other guy said:

- Man that dog will bite you!

Your Momma's so black she got counted absent at night school.

Why did the sparrow go to the library?
→ It was looking for bookworms!

ORIGAMI
Art of paper folding. In order to obtain a nice and effectiveness result, put the floppy in the disk drive after folding it several times in different directions. With a little luck, you should be able to get it jammed. Now, ask yourself. How can your disk get damaged if you can't even get it out of the drive?

SMOKE
Use cigarettes or anything that could be burnt. When you are smoking, blow directly to your disk. In that way, you will be able to destroy it soon, and if you are lucky, damage the drive as well.

PIRANHAS
If you don't have any at home, you can use a stapler, a clip, or simply write down on the disk label with a hard point pencil or pen. This wonderful method of "caring" for disks also often gives you a pretty bite-like design on the remaining pieces of the disk.

MAGNETS
They are wonderful. You can find them in the telephone, in some paper weights, and stuck on the frige door. If you can't find any, you can leave the floppies on the printer or on your display for a while, making sure that they are on.

MAIL
Put a disk in an envelope and don't write any warning on it; then mail it to someone, and that's all.

MAGIC TOUCH
Touch your floppy. As much as you can. If you have marmelade or butter in your fingers, better. Your floppy will acknowledge it.

DON'T USE ANY ENVELOPE
Archive them wihtout their envelope, piled under a lot of papers and manuals.

DON'T MAKE BACKUPS
Of course, if you don't have any security copy, you won't have to worry about how to destroy them once you have lost the original.

SUPREME STUPIDITY
It is the best way of destroying floppies. If you practice it regularly, you'll find new methods to add to this list.

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned:

- I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!

ring ring

- Hello?

Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated:

- Hello?

- I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom - a male voice whispered huskily.

- ...undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until morning.

- Geez - the woman replied.

- you can tell all that from two hello's?

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
→ A nervous wreck.

When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order?
→ A zoo-t suit!

- First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?

- Second girl: No, it's imagination.