A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.
Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, "SPEED TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted "TIPS" and a bucket of change.
Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
→ To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters "ILU" written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. Well sweetie, what does "ILU" mean? The little girl replies:
- I love you.
The teacher says:
- Isn't that sweet - and continues with class.
The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters "YAS" written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean. A little white boy raises his hand and says:
- It means, You are special.
- Thank you sweetheart - the teacher says.
The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters "FUCK" written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means. A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says:
- Yes maam, I left it. It means, from us colored kids!.
Did you hear about the blind skunk who fell in love with a fart?
- Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours!
- Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!
They would immediately change the name to WatMas.
They just found out Clinton's been stuffing turf in his underpants.
They're for grass roots support.
What does Bill say to prospective interns?
→ "Haven't I cum across your face before?"
A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog's fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That evening the Indian chief tells the cowboy that he can have one last wish, within reason, before meeting his ultimate fate the following morning. The cowboy tells the chief that his last request is to see his faithful dog, Rex. When the dog is brought by the Indians the cowboy strokes and pets his companion and whispers something into his ear. At once the dog bounds and runs through the Indian village and over the hill. This does not particularly distress the Indians as they didn't really know what to do with the dog anyway.
At about 8 o'clock that evening the dog returns accompanied by some two dozen hookers from the closest town. Needless to say the braves were delighted at the prospect of an evening's entertainment.
As the orgy wore on through the night, the chief told the cowboy that his stake burning was being postponed as they were all too tired from partying.
The next day, the chief said to the cowboy:
- in gratitude for furnishing the ladies last night, I'm going to grant you another request before you are burned at the stake in the morning.
Again the cowboy requests to see his faithful dog. When the dog is brought forth the cowboy again strokes and pets his companion and whispers into his ear:
- this may be my last chance Rex, so please get it right this time --- go to town and get the posse!
Santa comes once a year - but when he does he fills your stocking!
