Most viewed jokes

What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
→ "I don't like sprouts!"

- Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story?

- Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees!

- Father Christmas: You mean 'The Three Little Figs'.

What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes?
→ No-eyed-deer!

- Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report.

- Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject!"

John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn't afford one. So one day John came home clutching a package containing a brand-new video.

'Where in the World did you get the money to pay for that?' asked his father suspiciously.

'It's OK, Dad,' replied John, 'I've traded the TV in for it.'

Why don't cows ever have any money?
→ Because the farmers milk them dry!

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true....

Comet cleans sinks!

What can Santa give away and still keep?
→ A cold.

- My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!

- Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.

What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels?
→ Father Christmas on roller skates!