Most viewed jokes

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
→ Udder chaos!

- I hear you take milk baths.

- That's right.

- Why?

- I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!

- Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning.

- Wife: When did you first miss it, dear?

- Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America?
→ "Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!"

Why is Bill Clinton called "middle of the road Democrat"?
→ Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back.

A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. "Excuse me," he said to the cat in charge, "Can you get milk stains out?"

"Sure," replied the cat. "We'll have that stain licked in a minute!"

How do cats eat spaghetti?
→ The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!

What looks like half a cat?
→ The other half!

- Brother: Did you put the cat out?

- Sister: Why, is it on fire?

James and his wife, Martha, are getting ready to leave home for a vacation.

Martha started out the door, then stopped, turned around, and said, "James, this time you should go check to see if the coffee pot is off, television plugs are pulled, lamp timers are set, thermostat is adjusted, windows are closed and locked, burglar alarm is on, doors are locked, and I'll go wait in the car and keep blowing the horn."