Most viewed jokes

Did you hear about the calendar thief?
→ He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!

The eastern lady who was all ready to take a horseback ride said to the cowboy, "Can you get me a nice gentle pony?" "Shore," said the cowboy. "What kind of a saddle do you want, English or western?" "What's the difference?" asked the lady. "The western saddle has a horn on it," said the cowboy. "If the traffic is so thick here in the mountains that I need a horn on my saddle, I don't believe I want to ride."

Who do zombie cowboys fight?
→ Deadskins.

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
→ Plenty of milk!

What hair style is a calf's favorite?
→ The cowlick!

What do you get from pampered cows?
→ Spoiled milk!

If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury?
→ When he's sworn in.

- I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas!

- Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition!

- That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!

A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.

"I always knew God would take care of us," said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home.

"I like to hear you say that," beamed the mother. "Always remember that God is in His heaven watching over us."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about THAT God," the five year old interrupted. "I was talking about the COAST God."

"Doctor," said the patient, "I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!"

"How long have you had this problem?" the doctor asked.

"Lest's see," said the patient, "Mom had the litter in '41."