Most viewed jokes

What country do cows love to visit?
→ Moo Zealand!

Bill Clinton is writing his memoirs.

They're called "The Johnson Years".

- Mother: Let me see your report son.

- Son: Here it is, Mother, but don't show it to Dad. He's been helping me!

Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
→ They are both ginger nuts!

Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
→ Because she wanted to mail a litter.

If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction is the smoke blowing?
→ There is no smoke from an electric train!

A tiny racing car was developed by American scientists. The Americans then sent the car over to Japan to see what the Japanese could do to better the car. The Japanese added sport wheels and an aero kit to the car, they than sent it to the U.K. The British scientists, to better the car, added a sound system and window tint. They then sent it over to the Chinese, who added on a lowered suspension to the tiny car. The Chinese then sent it over to India. The Indian scientists, looked at the tiny car, appreciated all the modifications the other countries had made, turned it over and stamped a sign on it.... MADE IN INDIA!!!

How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car?
→ Put him in the front.

- Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?

- Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!

It's for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, "My Doberman here killed her."

"Gee... That's terrible," commiserated the spectator. "But... Hmmmm... Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?"

The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and answered, "Get in line."