Most viewed jokes

A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the office that evening, the boy called out sulkily, 'Mum! your husband's just come home.'

A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He'd then jump back into the cab in time to drive away when the signal changed.

The first fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand it no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick, the first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. "I'm sorry to bother you," he said, over the din of the banging, "but I am very curious; could you tell me what you are doing?"

Without breaking rhythm, the truck driver replied, "Sure, Mac. Ya see, this here's a six-ton truck but I've got eight tons of canaries aboard, so I've gotta keep two ton of them flying all the time so I don't break an axle".

An Irishman goes for a job on a building site.

The man says, "Can you brew tea?"

The Irishman says, "Yes."

"Good. Can you drive a fork lift?"

The Irishman looks at him and asks, "Why? How big is the teapot?"

You might be a redneck if...
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Why did a snowman send his father to Siberia?
→ Because he wanted frozen pop!

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?
→ He raised Cain.

Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
→ It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
→ Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

How did the dog make anti-freeze?
→ He stole her blanket.