A wife went in to see a therapist and said:
- I've got a big problem, doctor.
- Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell.
- My dear - the doctor said - that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.
- The problem is - she complained - it wakes me up!
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?
→ A Dinosaucer
What do tired line dancers do?
→ They Line Down :-)
Biddle and Payne, two elderly English professors, were having lunch in the cafeteria.
During the course of the conversation, Biddle said, "A student gave me a peculiar answer in class today. I asked who wrote the Merchant of Venice and a sophomore said, "Please, sir, it wasn't me!"
"Ha, ha!" laughed Payne. "And I suppose the little snot had done it all along!"
- Policeman: Why are you driving without a license?
- Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.
Telephone Problems by Ron Number
I had skylights installed at my place the other day...the people that live upstairs are really mad!
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him:
- You need to join the Army of the Lord!
My friend replied:
- I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.
Pastor questioned:
- How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?
He whispered back:
- I'm in the secret service.
What does a footballer and a magician have in common?
→ Both do hat tricks!
- Teacher: Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank!
- Pupil: Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet!
