Most viewed jokes

- Policeman: Why were you speeding?

- Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial.

- Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign?

- Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

Where do ghost trains stop?
→ At devil crossings.

Two cab drivers met.

- Hey - asked one

- what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?

- Well - the other responded

- when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.

- Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.

- Would you spell that, please?

- Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.

The operator pauses.

- Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor . . .

An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.

- Your workers, they're escaping! - cries the visitor.

- You've got to stop them.

- Don't worry, they'll be back - says the American.

And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.

When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says:

- Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?

- Forget the machines - says the visitor.

- How much do you want for that whistle?

When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair service.

The friendly technician after inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was in need of a good cleaning.

The tech suggested that someone might try reading the operator's manual and perform the job themselves, since it would cost $100.00, if he did the work.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asks:

- Does your boss know you are discouraging business?

- Actually, my boss demands we explain this to all our customers.

- After people try first to fix things themselves, we end-up making much more money on repairs.

Carpet Fitting by Walter Wall

The Garlic Eater by I Malone

At the South Pole by Anne Tarctic