A Soviet emigre woman comes to a gynecologist and complains:
- Doctor, when I wasn't married, I had six abortions, and now I got married and can't get pregnant.
- Well - said the doctor.
- It's possible you don't breed in captivity!
A young mother had just given birth to a newborn baby and the nurse was congratulating her when the doctor came in bouncing the baby from hand to hand like a basketball.
- Here's your baby, maam - says the doctor.
The doctor then throws the baby on the floor, hurls it up against the wall, picks it up and twirls it around several times, and then drop kicks it straight out of the 10th floor window.
Totally bewildered, the woman gives out a loud shriek and hollers:
- My God!!! What have you done to my baby?!?!!!
The doctor chuckles a little to himself and says:
- April Fools!!! He was already dead!
What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?
→ A spreader of old wives' tales!
- I'm worried - said the woman to her sex therapist.
- I happened to find my daughter and the little boy next door both naked and examining each other's bodies.
- That's not unusual - smiled the therapist.
- I wouldn't worry about it.
- But I am worried, doctor - insisted the woman - and so is my daughter's husband!
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A remedy for the common cold suggested by Dr. Richard Gordon, from the "Atlantic Monthly":
At the first sign of a cold, go to bed with a bottle of whiskey and a hat. Place the hat on the left-hand bedpost. Take a drink of whiskey and move the hat to the right-hand bedpost. Take another drink and shift the hat back again. Continue this until you drink the whiskey but fail to move the hat.
By then, the cold is probably cured.
Did you hear that they are going to stop circumcising men?
→ They discovered they were throwing away the best part.
Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?
→ Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake?
→ You can make a pet out of a snake!
Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card.
- What is this 45 in math? - asked her father.
- I think that's the size of the class - she said quickly!
