Most viewed jokes

What is a snowman's favorite book?
→ War and Frozen Peas!

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

What's musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer?
→ A barrel organ.

How can you get rich by eating?
→ Eat fortune cookies.

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other:

- Why are you here?

The second answers:

- I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.

The first is curious and asks:

- How do you know that you're Napoleon?

The second responds:

- God told me I was.

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts:

- NO I DIDN'T!

- Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years.

- Father: Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part.

I overheard a friend telling his pal:

- I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.

- What is she doing? - the pal asks.

- Waiting for me to get home.

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
→ A Doberman.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Button

- Button who?

- Button in is not polite!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Answer

- Answer who?

- Answer all over your porch! It's a mess out here!