Most viewed jokes

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "It's easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, "I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers." He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, "That's a very innovative approach" and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied "IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?"

Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger?
→ No, but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bassoon!

- Bassoon who?

- Bassoon things will be better!

How do you fix a broken tuba?
→ With a "tuba glue."

On which day do monsters eat people?
→ Chewsday.

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other:

- Why are you here?

The second answers:

- I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.

The first is curious and asks:

- How do you know that you're Napoleon?

The second responds:

- God told me I was.

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts:

- NO I DIDN'T!

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
→ Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.

- Well - says the old fellow - I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves.

The policeman looks at the old man and says:

- You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!

So the old man says:

- I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
→ A Doberman.