Most viewed jokes

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?
→ One good turn deserves another.

A man went into a store to buy some condoms.

- That's 1 dollar 15 plus tax - said the store assistant.

- I don't need tacks - said the man.

- It'll stay up all by itself.

Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
→ They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.

On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said:

- I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof.

Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof.

- Now - said his father - when I say, Jump, I want you to jump off the roof.

- But, Dad - said the boy - there's a huge drop!

- Do you want to succeed in business?

- Yes, Dad.

- And you trust me, don't you?

- Yes, Dad.

- So do as I say and jump.

The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him.

- That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.

I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues.

What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
→ He went down really well!

Noisy Nights by Constance Norah

Why don't women need to wear watches?
→ Theres a clock on the oven!

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
→ Nothing, somebody already told her twice!!!!

• Windows - A danger zone for Fido.
• Modem - A good way to get rid of weeds.
• Mouse - Something the cat chases.