Most viewed jokes

What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?
→ Zippo Marx.

What's the blonde's cheer?
→ "I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B. L. O. N. . . . ah, oh well. . I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea. . . "

What do you call a python with a great bedside manner?
→ A snake charmer!

- Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear?

- Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow.

- Mother: Really? Why's that?

- Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!

At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap - but who wants to eat dirt?

- Policeman: Now, sir, how did you come to have this accident?

- Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, 'Stop? Look? Listen'. And while I was doing that the train hit me.

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
→ "I didn't wake up this morning..."

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
→ A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert.

- There's not much room on this page - he said

- What shall I write?

Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint:

- Write your repertoire.