Most viewed jokes

Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
→ What for? He can't see my license plate.

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said:

- Look at that dog with one eye!

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes:

- Where?

Why did the blonde fail her drivers licence?
→ She wasn't used to the front seat!

Gravely ill, the Skipper was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by.

After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway.

- Your husband is very sick - the doctor said. Still, you can do three things to ensure his survival.

- First, fix him three healthy meals a day.

- Next, give him a stress-free environment and don't complain about anything.

- Finally, have sex and oral sex with him every day.

The doctor left and the woman returned to her husband's room.

- What did the doctor say? - he asked.

- I'm sorry, m'dear - she said, but he said you're not going to make it.

Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed?
→ He couldn't find a BP station!

I was sorry to hear that a friend of mine dropped out of med school. He really wanted to be a doctor, but just couldn't stand the sight of money.

A young doctor just out of medical school announced to his wife that he planned to specialize in gynecology.

When she asked him why he chose gynecology, he said simply:

- There's lots of openings!

If I want it, it's mine.

If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine.

If I can take it away from you, it's mine.

If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

If it's mine, it will never belong to anybody else, no matter what.

If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.

If it looks just like mine, it's mine.

Why are some men uncircumcised?
→ The doctors were afraid of causing brain damage to the infant.

In Canada we have two Seasons...six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.