A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.
A farmer replied:
- Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.
- Well - replied the man - she must have had a lot of friends.
- Nope - said the farmer - we all just want to buy his mule.
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Bertha
- Bertha who?
- Bertha-day greetings!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Beck
- Beck who?
- Beckfast of champions!
- Knock Knock!
- Who's there?
- Ali!
- Ali who?
- Ali-luyah, at last you've opened the door!
- I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!
- Don't you mean netsurfing?
- No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!
What did the bee say to the flower?
→ Hello honey!
- IRS Agent: What's all this?
- Bracken: Well, you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson, Tammy Wynette, and Garth Brooks . . .
Chaffee could talk on any subject whether he knew anything about it or not. Mostly he didn't. One day his neighbor Nibley could stand no more.
- Do you realize - asked Nibley - that you and I know all there is to be known?
- Do you really think so? - said Chaffee.
- How do you figure that?
- Easy - answered Nibley.
- You know everything except that you're a damn idiot. And I know that!
What's as big as a horse, but weighs nothing?
→ A horses shadow!
