An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water.
- What kind of salesman are you? - the boss scolded.
- Get out there and sell him a boat.
Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
→ Half a measure.
One agent stops by another agent's table to tell him the big news:
- Elvis just died!
The second agent says nothing, then starts nodding:
- Good career move.
How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
What does the hungry monster get after he's eaten too much ice cream?
→ More ice cream!
An airforce officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of attmittance to heaven. The officer flyboy replies; yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two seabees harrassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentelman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this seabee to stand down. St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act. The pilot replied; about 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!
Men are like road kill.
They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Chest
- Chest who?
- Chest-nuts for sale!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Chaz
- Chaz who?
- Chaz nasty as you wanna be!
