Most viewed jokes

What's an accordion good for?
→ Learning how to fold a map.

What's a mouse's favourite record?
→ Please cheese me!

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
→ E.T. phoned home.

A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, "help, help, I am having a heart attack", the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run up to him and says "daddy, daddy, there is a naked man in the closet", husband opens the closet door and sees his friend Bob. He yells at Bob, "Bob, god damn it, my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scare the kids"!!!

A mother and her child were at a wedding.

A little boy looks at his mom and says:

- Mommy, why does the girl wear white?

His mom replies:

- The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life.

The boy thinks about this, and then says:

- Well then, why is the boy wearing black?

A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.

He replies:

- Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Chaz

- Chaz who?

- Chaz nasty as you wanna be!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Castro

- Castro who?

- Castro bread upon the waters!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Blood

- Blood who?

- Blood brothers!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bargain

- Bargain who?

- Bargain up the wrong tree!