Most viewed jokes

What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
→ An elephant holding its breath!

How do dolphins send messages?
→ By sea-mail.

What dog wears contact lenses?
→ A cock-eyed spaniel!

Why did the dog say he was an actor?
→ His leg was in a cast.

Why is sex like a game of bridge?
→ You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

This old lady was complaining to her friend about a little problem she had with vaginal itch. Her friend suggested that maybe she had an STD. The old lady replied "that's impossible because I am a virgin". To solve the problem the old lady went to the doctor for check up. After the exam the doctor said: "I have good news and bad news, the good news is that you are clean of all STD'S. The bad news is that you have fruit flies because your cherry is rotten"

Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk.

Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him:

- I stopped it!

- I know, you idiot! - said the man.

- I was pushing it!

There was once a high-powered businessman who insisted on taking his three secretaries everywhere with him - a tall one for writing longhand, a short one for taking down shorthand, and a very small one for adding footnotes.

- Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?

- I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months.

Communicating with Cattle by I. Ken Mooue