Most viewed jokes

Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire?
→ A Snowman.

- Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?

- Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Playing truant from school is like a credit card
Fun now, pay later!

- Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?

- Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.

- And who was it that developed the theories behind communism? - the professor asked.

- I don't know - the student said.

- Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know - said the professor.

- That's not true - the student replied.

- I never pay attention anyway!

- Teacher, I can't solve this problem.

- Any five year old should be able to solve this one.

- No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten!

Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
→ The thought had never entered his head before.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bass!

- Bass who?

- Bass the salt and pepper please!

Why are violas so large?
→ It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.

What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?
→ A trombone will bend before it breaks.