Most viewed jokes

Where do footballers dance?
→ At a football!

What stories are told by basketball players?
→ Tall stories!

- So glad to meet you - said the Hindu politely?

- Charmed I'm sure - replied the snake!

- Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attention

- Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can!

- Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?

- Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

- Teacher: When was Rome built?

- Pupil: At night.

- Teacher: Why did you say that?

- Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learned one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said:

- He was born in a manger.

Bobby said:

- He threw the money changers out of the temple.

Little Johnny said:

- He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it.

Curious, the teacher asked:

- And where did you learn that, Johnny?

- From my Daddy - said Johnny.

- Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?

A priest was vested in his surplus and cassock ready to process at the beginning of the service. His surplus was very ornate and he was swinging the incense pot which had smoke coming from it. A lady touched him on the shoulder and said, "Darling, I love your dress; but your purse is on fire!"

If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been"
Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.

- Ma, - he shouted - the results are in. I won the election!

- Honestly?

The politician's smiled faded.

- Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?