Most viewed jokes

Meg's mother was visiting her daughter at camp.

- How did you find the steak dinner? - she asked.

- With a magnifying glass!

- Sharon: I'm so homesick.

- Sheila: But this is your home!

- Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.

Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper?
→ Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.

What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
→ One goes quick and the other goes quack!

Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor:

- what did you do on Earth?

The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor:

- you may go in.

St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her:

- you may go in.

St. Peter asked the third man:

- what did you do?

The man hung his head and replied:

- I ran a large HMO.

To which St. Peter replied:

- you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.

What famous chiropodist ruled England?
→ William the Corn-cutter!

How does a barber make phone calls?
→ He cuts them short.

How do you make a Gorilla float?
→ Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

What did one ghost say to another?
→ I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.

Why do frogs have webbed feet?
→ To stamp out forest fires!