Most viewed jokes

What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?
→ Spook when you're spooken to.

What is a ghost boxer called?
→ A phantomweight.

A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.

- Would you like a cherry on the top? - asked the waitress.

- No, thanks - said the girl - I'm on a diet!

- Why can't you make bread like my mother?

- I would if you could make dough like your father!

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted:

- Are there any gators around here?!

- Naw, they ain't been around for years! - the man hollered back.

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy:

- How'd you get rid of the gators?

- We didn't do nothin' - the beachcomber said.

- The sharks got 'em.

One Scot came back from work earlier then usual and saw plumber's car in the front of the house.

- Oh my God, I hope it is her lover.

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?
→ A sheep.

What's blue and has big ears?
→ An elephant at the North Pole!

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?
→ To e or not to e, that is the question.

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?
→ A hen that lays pooched eggs.