Most viewed jokes

Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
→ Because they had a crush on each other!

- Ann! - the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window.

- If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I?

- Thirty two!

- Why did you say that?

- Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad!

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother:

- Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

The mother exclaimed:

- But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?

The little girl replied:

- My homework.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
→ A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party, what is a pig the symbol of?
→ Any party where there's lots of food.

- Son: What is an autobiography?

- Father: Er, the story of an automobile.

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?
→ Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
→ You can't!

What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
→ The baritone.

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?
→ Lots of very worried dogs.