Most viewed jokes

What will Santa bring your fish this Christmas?
→ A scale letrix!

What kind of fish will help you hear better?
→ A herring aid!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
→ A can of people!

Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is. Mick says:

- Well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he actually died in the Auschwitz concentration camp.

Patrick says:

- That's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber? - and Mick replies.

- No, he fell out of the machine gun tower.

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip:

- When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile - she said.

- Why, was he disappointed with the view?

- No, he fell over the edge.

Why do elephants jump across rivers?
→ So they won't step on the fish.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman?
→ A jumbo yeti.

How does an elephant go up a tree?
→ It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

Why is an elephant braver than a hen?
→ Because the elephant isn't chicken!

Where will a springer spaniel never shop?
→ At a flea market!