Most viewed jokes

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler. The little boy asked:

- Grandpa, can I have a beer?

Grandpa replied:

- Can your dick touch your ass?

The little boy answered no.
Grandpa said:

- Then you're not man enough to have a beer.

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asked:

- Grandpa, can I have a cigar?

Once again, Grandpa asked:

- Can your dick touch your ass?

The little boy answered no, again.
Grandpa said:

- Then your not man enough to have a cigar.

A little later, the little boy came out of the house With a cookie.
Grandpa asked:

- Can I have a cookie?

The boy asked:

- Can your dick touch your ass?

Grandpa replied:

- Hell yeah my dick can touch my ass!

The boy replied:

- Then go fuck yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me.

Which burgers are dishonest?
→ Cat-burgers! (burglars)

The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen

How did the blonde burn her nose?
→ Bobbing for french fries.

How does a blonde kill a worm?
→ She burys it.

Why was the blonde in the tree?
→ Because she was raking up the leaves!

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
→ Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

What did a blind boy's parents do to punish him?
→ Rearranged the furniture

What is the definition of Robin?
→ A bird who steals!

- Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty?

- Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink'!