Yawning
- Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
- Pupil: What?, and get bitten!
Most viewed jokes
- All
- Animal Jokes 3869
- April Fools Jokes 10
- At Work 856
- Aviation Jokes 339
- Bar Jokes 445
- Blonde Jokes 1226
- Business Jokes 842
- Camping Jokes 88
- Celebrities 657
- Christmas Jokes 343
- Clean Jokes 1299
- Comedian Jokes 85
- Computer Jokes 800
- Dirty Jokes 3278
- Doctor Jokes 989
- Drunks 538
- Dumb Jokes 1114
- Elderly Jokes 636
- Ethnic 982
- Farming Jokes 327
- Festival Jokes 300
- Food Jokes 1052
- Gender Jokes 298
- Golf Jokes 164
- Instrument Jokes 274
- Irish Jokes 242
- Kids Jokes 2024
- Language Jokes 1361
- Lawyer Jokes 565
- Marriage Jokes 1855
- Medicine 1113
- Men Jokes 959
- Military Jokes 384
- Mom/Dad Jokes 674
- Ouch 850
- Police Jokes 668
- Political Jokes 751
- Practical Jokes 33
- Red Indian Jokes 66
- Redneck Jokes 248
- Relationships 775
- Religion 1283
- School 906
- Science 461
- Sex Jokes 935
- Situations 1812
- Sport Jokes 602
- Stats/Math Jokes 214
- Travel Jokes 715
- War 134
- Women Jokes 1241
- Yo Mama Jokes 333
Guest
Paddy And The Priest
The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern.
- Paddy - he said:
- I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.
- Really, Father? - slurred Paddy.
- What have you done?
Guest
Cool Rabbit
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool?
→ A hip hopper.
Guest
Head on Curb
A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard"
Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch. "Head on boolevard..." dang it!
Scratch scratch. He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. "Head on curb."
Guest
Catching the Rabbit
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
- Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
Powerful Interest
Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other:
- What about the powerful interest that controls you?
And the other guy screamed back:
- You leave my wife out of this!
Guest
Vampire Democrats
Why are Vampires Democrats?
→ They want Gore in 2000.
Guest
Defining a Conservative
What is a conservative?
→ A liberal who's been mugged.
Guest
Writing Home
How does a pig write home?
→ With a pig pen.
Guest
Cellist Fortissimo
How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?
→ Write 'pp, espressivo'.