Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper.
- Gladly - responded the good man.
When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the "appreciation" column. There he read:
- The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given.
- Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
- Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?
→ He was a little shoat.
How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?
→ By the egg on its face.
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies.
They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
→ Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist:
- You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked:
- Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?
- Yes - the boy's mother answered.
- And how is your son now? - the psychiatrist asked.
- Who cares? - the mother replied.
How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Oops. I can't believe I broke the last one. I guess you'll have to sit in the dark.
This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children.
I'll never forget that game of cards...
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
→ "I've become attached to you."
