Most viewed jokes

- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me

- One at a time please

What's one thing everybody sees in a blonde?
→ A dick.

A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck to a halt inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed:

- What the hell's the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me? You could have been killed!

The man replied nonchalantly:

- Listen, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands directly next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his haircut, eating her snack cake. The barber says to her:

- Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie.

She says:

- I know. I'm gonna get boobs too.

- Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel?

- Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.

Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business.

She does the ironing and he does the stealing.

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location."

Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village?
→ Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!

Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land?
→ The meatball heros!

Which people do the burgers hate?
→ The ones who are always putting the bite on them!