Most viewed jokes

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ "Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

A little monster was learning to play the violin:

- I'm good, aren't I? - he asked his big brother.

- You should be on the radio - said his brother.

- You think I'm that good?

- No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off!

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous.

Getting an idea, he walked naked and purposefully through the corridors until he reached the Research & Development laboratory. He walked in and saluted the Head Scientist.

- I am here to report the partial success of the personal invisibility device!

I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.

Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.
His father wrote back saying:

- In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles.

Josh wrote back:

- To tell the truth, I didn't think much of it either.

Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit on.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Barbara

- Barbara who?

- Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Ayatollah

- Ayatollah who?

- Ayatollah you already!

- Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?

- I can't help it, I'm hooked.