Most viewed jokes

- Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi?

- Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?
→ Webley stadium!

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

- Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

- Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!

- Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?

- George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.

The group was silent for a moment.

- Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

- Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

- Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
→ A jump rope

- Man: How's your history paper coming?

- Woman: Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful.

- Man: Really?

- Woman: Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!

- Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery.

- Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland."

- Salesman: Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?

Why did the pig go to the casino?
→ To play the slop machine!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?
→ Cupigs!

What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
→ A pig tail!

My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.