Most viewed jokes

What's the definition of perfect pitch?
→ When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

What dog has money?
→ A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her husband asked her, "How it went?". She replied, "Fine, but I've never seen so many Freudians slips."

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
→ In the pages of a romance novel.

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says:

- Hey Tommy, wanna play house?

He says:

- Sure! What do you want me to do?

The girl replies:

- I want you to communicate your thoughts.

- Communicate my thoughts? - said a bewildered Tommy.

- I have no idea what that means.

The little girl smirks and says:

- Perfect. You can be the husband.

In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.

Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!

What does an envelope say when you lick it?
→ Nothing. It just shuts up.

Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.
His father wrote back saying:

- In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles.

Josh wrote back:

- To tell the truth, I didn't think much of it either.