A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy's mind, sat him and said:
- God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.
To which the child responded:
- Well, then is God Michael Jackson?
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said:
- Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church.
- I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said:
- Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away.
The third said:
- I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
→ A roamin' Catholic!
What's a rabbits' favorite musical?
→ Hare.
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
→ A hare dare.
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
→ Deviled eggs!
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said:
- He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.
The next-door neighbor protested:
- Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children.
The wife replied:
- Yes, but who wants HIM back?
Why did the pig go to the casino?
→ To play the slop machine!
Did you hear about the pig's vacation?
→ They had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park. They dressed up as bears and raided all the garbage cans.
- Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse? - asked Rupert.
- Okay - replied his father.
- but don't stand too close.
