Most viewed jokes

Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage.

- Policeman: Why have you parked your bus here?

- Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."

The social worker asked the bartender:

- What's the difference between your job and mine?

The bartender replied:

- I only had to go to bartender school for 6 weeks and I learned to mix very good drinks, then wait a couple of hours to have people tell me their innermost thoughts, while you went to school for 6 years, paid thousands and thousands of dollars, sit session after session using technique after technique, and you still may never hear them!!!

What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
→ Vitamin bills!

When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?
→ During PRIME time!

Peek-a-Boo! by I. C. Hugh

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
→ Give her a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say 'hi.'

One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization.

The red-head said:

- I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it.

Then the brunette said:

- I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat.

And then the blonde said:

- I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
→ She moved.

What does a blonde owl say?
→ What, what?