Most viewed jokes

The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!

- Can I have some two-handed cheese, please? - a man in a restaurant asked the waiter.

- What do you mean, 'two-handed cheese'? - asked the waiter.

- You know, the kind you eat with one hand and hold your nose with the other.

A Nun and her friend, Sarah were playing golf. Sarah misses a 3 foot putt and yells:

- Goddamn it, missed the bugger!

and the nun says:

- If you keep saying that then God will punish you.

Next hole Sarah misses a 2 foot putt and says:

- Goddamn it, missed the bugger!

and the nun says:

- ONE more time Sarah, and God will punish you!

Then Sarah misses a neoot putt and says:

- GOD DAMN IT!!! MISSED THE BUGGER!

Suddenly clouds form overhead. God comes down from Heaven and strikes the nun dead with a bolt of thunder.

God says:

- Goddamn it! Missed the bugger!

Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor?
→ Rabbit Hood.

What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
→ A hare-cut.

Did you hear about the little boy who was named after his father?
→ They called him Dad!

Why are parents boring?
→ Because they're groan-ups.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. They have a machine that does that now.

What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
→ The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.

Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves?
→ Mickey Moose!