Most viewed jokes

A Call for Assistance by Linda Hand

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said:

- All right, who's the other father!?!

When a blonde goes to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
→ Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes, "MOOOOOOOOOO!"

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside. Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in.

The third time she comes out, the man asks her:

- Excuse me, is there a problem?

The blonde replies:

- Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!

- Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days?

- No. Why?

- Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

What is a parrot's favorite game?
→ Hide and Speak!

What language do birds speak?
→ Pigeon English!

How do you open a can of beer?
→ That's not the point - it should be open when she gives it to you!

How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra?
→ They'll be square because they forget to take the Klennex out of the box.