Most viewed jokes

- Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee

- Have you tried taking the spoon out?

The farmer goes to town one day and happens to run into his old pal the tractor salesman.

- How's business? - asks the farmer.

- Not very good, I haven't sold a tractor in months. How are things on the farm? - asked the salesman.

- Well-- The other day I went out to the barn to milk that old cow I have. I started milking and she swatted me with her tail, so I tied her tail to the ceiling. I started milking again and she kicked me with her left leg so I tied that to the left side of the stall. I started milking again and she kicked me with her right leg so I tied that one to the right side of the stall. About that time my wife walked in the barn, and if you can convince her that I was just trying to milk that damn cow, I'll buy a tractor from you!!

Which burger is famous for a long nose?
→ Cyrano de Burgerac!

What did they say about the burger who went skiing for the first time?
→ How the meaty have fallen!

The Joys of Hitch-hiking by Marsha Long

How does a blonde hemophiliac treat herself?
→ Acupuncture.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.

After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.

- Oh, I really liked it - she said - but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents.

- What on earth do you mean???

- Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was:

- Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!

Why did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
→ Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

Where is everyone beautiful?
→ In the dark.

- They say Margaret is a raving beauty.

- You mean she's escaped from the funny farm?