Most viewed jokes

- Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you?

- Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I drive.

- First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night?

- Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper.

Does this bus stop at the river?
→ If it doesn't there'll be a very big splash.

Making the Least of Life by Minnie Mumm

Improve Your Target Shooting by Mr Completely

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?
→ Because he is lying.

Four words guaranted to destroy a man's ego: "Is it in yet?"

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

- Devil: Why so glum?

- Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

- Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

- Guy: Sure I love to drink.

- Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. On Mondays that's all we do. Drink, Drink, Drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab... We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

- Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

- Devil: You a smoker?

- Guy: You better believe it.

- Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay...you're already dead!

- Guy: No way!

- Devil: I bet you like to gamble.

- Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

- Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.

- Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow before ...

- Devil: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

- Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You don't mean ...

- Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. You can do all the drugs you want. If you overdose? It's okay! You're already dead!!

- Guy: Yes! I never realized that hell was such a swinging place!!

- Devil: So... are you gay?

- Guy: Uh, no.

- Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you are gonna HATE Fridays!

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.

- Well, - says the personnel director, - You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.

Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute. - Also, - says the director, - You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course.

This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

- There's one last requirement, - the director continues; - you must be bilingual.

With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says:

- Meow!

A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said:

- Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.

- Oh, No! - she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.

- Who was God's son? - said Saint Peter.

The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said:

- Andy!

- That's interesting. . . What made you say that? - said Saint Peter.

Then She started to sing:

- Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me. . .